Reminder to myself... when playing Star Wars with Noah try not to take it personally when I say "how about I be Princess Leia" and his reply is "no you're Jabba the Hut."

December 2011

‎"Ummm, Chef Mom. I would like something to drink with my breakfast." "Well, Chef Noah. Come over here and get the glass of milk I poured for you."
"Im not a CHEF. I'm a CUSTOMER so I need you to bring me my milk."
Wrong answer.....

Noah was grabbing things right and left in Target and I kept telling him no and putting them back. He said (in exasperation)..I don't get ANYTHING. I said "well, Noah, when we get home we'll get out the paper and look at the job openings. Once you have a job and make your own money you can buy anything you want." "ANYTHING?" "Yes, Noah. After you give some money at church and put some in savings you can buy anything." He looked at me with wide eyes and said "then on Friday I can buy some water." Yes...b/c I don't feed or water my child on a regular basis, he needs to get a job so he can afford to buy himself water...

Celebrating our family Christmas. Noah came down stairs, saw his bike by the tree and simply stated "oh look. a bike. So now can we open the other presents?' Terry replied "It's a bike for you!' "YEAH, I know. I'll ride it later." Somehow that played out a bit differently in my head as I stood beside the stacks of bikes at 10pm on Black Friday..

As my babysitter walked out the door yesterday Noah thoughtfully asked... "mom, can we have TWO mommies?" Who else did you want as your mommy, I asked... Anya (our babysitter). At least he didn't ask if he could trade me in for a better mommy.

Why is it that Noah's level of helplessness and whining is directly related to how late we're running and how much attention Grace is getting? This morning it was "Mom, I need help getting dressed. I just CANT do it!" I look over to see the 4 yo "trying" to put his clothes on over his flannel PJs. Ugh...once again late to preschool.

Forget the final 2 weeks, I'm yankin' his karate card. The class started with so much promise (after the total verbal beating/threats he got from home to Verona)..and spiraled downward. Noah was pulled aside for a little 1:1 remediation, I asked the owner if we could forget the last few weeks for now and use them to re eval in the summer (he thought that was a good idea). Did I mention I forgot his belt? On the way out some innocent bystander said "hey buddy, what happened to your belt?" I channeled some sort of borderline psychotic when I yelled over Grace's screaming as we went out the door "his awesome mom forgot it b/c she was too busy with her other kid."

After an extra ADHD karate class this afternoon we met with the owner who basically said he's kicking Noah out of the class for now. All parties are in agreement that the child is not able to focus for the full 30 min consistently. (and watching him practice drives me insane). So we're taking a few months off and will re evaluate in the summer/fall. but he keeps the uniform and will finish his last 2 weeks. I'm thinking the 3 hugs he gave the instructor while he was trying to teach him punches and blocks may have been a deciding factor....

Attempt #1 to get our Christmas tree was an epic fail. Noah just SCREAMED and refused to walk through the field (Grace just laughed at him). Terry finally snapped and dragged him back to the car. So much for our only day to put up our tree and set up our decorations. Guess I'll be doing it by myself at midnight....

Noah just got his birthday present from his grandparents. My little Toy Story fan loves his Woody doll. However, it makes Terry and I pause each time he states "I'm so happy!! I've got a Woody."

Jan 2012

As a smell that could trigger uncontrollable gagging floats my way I ask...Noah, did you toot? Well, um, no..he replied. Did you fart? Well, maybe......it's a poop air bubble, mom. A "poop air bubble?" Yeah, you know...like when the air comes out of your butt like a bubble....... "nevermind, Noah. Nevermind."

Terry just told me his story about Noah going to the bathroom and coming out covered in toilet water (it was dripping off of him). When asked why he was wet he replied... "well....maybe...it's toilet water." Apparently, he was dancing around the toilet as he got ready to pee and fell in. (a story I find highly unlikely to be true). However, I will no longer check if he's washed his hands by smelling them (b/c he's got bath and body works soap). ==of course that probably wasn't the best idea in the first place...

Noah's Sunday school teacher stops me as I am picking him up. She says she just wanted to let me know a couple minutes before I got there Noah was hitting another boy in class with a stuffed lady bug and she gently told him to stop/that we don't hit eachother. He burst into tears and was devastated-she thought it was sweet how upset he got over getting in trouble. On the way home I asked Noah if he got in trouble in Sunday school... his reply "Not really. Maybe a little...but mom, just so you know...lady bugs are NOT weapons."

Feb 2012

It made me laugh when Noah was playing Lego Pirates of the Caribbean on the Wii and he asked Terry for help. He handed Terry the other remote and said "come on Dad. you can be my side kick." Won't be too many more years and I will have to be the one who shuts off the video games and orders them both to bed.

I crawled into bed and cuddled up to Noah at 0700 this am (figured it was nicer than turning on the light and pulling off the covers). His sleepy response was "Ugh. Mommy, why do you cuddle on me all day long??" I said "because I love you and love to cuddle you." He turned around, hugged me and said, "yeah... I love you too."

I am always running late and telling Noah "we're going to be late, hurry up. We're late." Last night I was trying to get out of the house and was (once again) running late. As I am rushing around I say "noah, guess what mommy is tonight..." He looks at me thoughtfully and replies "WalMart mom?"

Had a lady from California Closets come out and look at a couple closets, including our walk in. She came out and said, "you must be a stay at home mom. I see you don't have many clothes hanging..." Trying to decide what to think about that statement..... I said, I'm a nurse and I live in scrubs and PJ pants. Besides, I'm not buying clothes until I am done having kids. Guess we're a little more "people of Wal Mart" than her normal clients.

How do you start your morning? With a cup of coffee? Eggs and bacon? Nothing says good morning like your 4 yo doing a modified version of downward dog requesting that you check to make sure he wiped good enough after his 20 min poop/book reading session....

Noah was whining and asking for help with his socks (which I normally refuse to help him with--he's 4 he can get his own darn socks on) When I asked what was wrong he said that he was having trouble getting his socks on straight and they (the socks) were making fun of him....so I needed to help him put on his socks so they would stop laughing at him.
Then he shut his imaginary door to the dinning room and told Grace that she needed to leave, he was getting dressed and needed "privacy".

Noah is the most healthy one in the house. Looks like it's time for him to man up.

On the way to preschool today he said "So, Mom. Someday when I am on TV do I get to be in charge and tell people what to do?" I said, " yes, Noah. If you are on TV someday you can go ahead and tell people what to do." I guess I should clarify if he's looking at acting, athletics or perhaps, America's Most Wanted...

Just what I needed after a crappy shift...to come home and find Terry, Noah and Grace watching Top Gear and Noah laughing hysterically.